Wow. What a day.
It started off with yoga, which I hated, I mean HATED. I couldn't do the stretches, my breathing was off, my balance sucked, and I looked around at everyone else and saw that they were doing better than me which is exactly what you're not supposed to do but I did it, and judged myself and walked out of there thinking, Kelly. You suck at yoga. So, I went to breakfast, got my bowl of cereal, and being the sporadically emotional person that I am, I burst into tears. I was walking out of the dining hall to get some private time when I ran into Jane Esselstyn, the awesome sister of Rip who is hilarious and irreverent and smart. She stopped me and said, "What's wrong? Did something happen at home?"
"No, no. I went to yoga. I sucked at it."
She kinda smiled and shrugged and said, "Yoga's hard."
I said, "I know, and I'm being hard on myself, I don't like that I'm not good at it, I was thinking of my athletic family and me not doing well at yoga and all of a sudden I got emotional, and I know it's ridiculous and I'm just having a very emotional week and--"
Then Jane said, "Listen, I'm a nurse. You're expressing yourself well. You have good color in your cheeks. You look great. You're fine. And I come from a f***cking athletic family (Dad, Olympic medal, Rip, Triathlete, Medalist) and I know what that's like. But you can do it, you'll be fine, yoga's not for everyone, maybe take a different class. You're fine."
And then I was fine.
And since I completely blew out my legs with the crossfit workout, I can't really do that class tomorrow. And the hilly hike workout option also sounds like a nightmare as every step really hurts. This means I'm probably going to have to do yoga tomorrow.
HA. IRONY.
Whatever. I can't be as bad as I was today. Or maybe I will be. But at least I'll approach with a sense of humor.
One more thing: go to this website. Forks Over Knives Watch this trailer. It will be coming to AMC, Regal and Landmark Movie Theaters. I saw it tonight as a special preview. I'd happily see it again with anyone who wanted to see it! IT'S GOING TO BE PLAYING KENDALL SQUARE CINEMA IN CAMBRIDGE MASS ON MAY 13! And the cool thing is--it's about SCIENCE. Not speculation or fads or media or gurus or anything like that. Science. All the people in it are my mentors in this journey and it's an exciting film that will blow the lid off some things, I think. I hope.
Ohhhhh man, one more thing. I've started to eat MUCH less these last couple of days here. And I'm feeling VERY full still. Greens, man. A huge gigantic plate of greens and a vegetable based soup to start lunch and dinner. It's going to shave off crazy pounds. I'm so excited about it.
Now, I'm excited for sleep!
Watched the trailer, looks very powerful and I will certainly be looking for it at the movies.
ReplyDeleteMore importantly however is the fact that you do not need to be athletic, you do not have to compete with anyone especially your family. Just be happy, healthy and wise(sorry for the cliche) for you do have a great deal of wisdom for someone so young. You are so beautiful and have so many artistic talents that if I tried to compare myself to you I could never measure up. I am me and you are you and we're are both special the way we are and that goes for our entire family.
Please believe in yourself, you are terrific in so many ways, but I'm your mom, you need to believe that for yourself.
love you. : )
Aww Mom, such sweet words :) Kell, that does sound like a killer day. I'm glad you bumped into Jane after yoga. Funny thing about that is that I was all ready, planning to do a hot yoga class last night for the first time at my gym and I totally talked myself out of it. I was not feeling confident; I too kind of suck at yoga, especially with my shoulder the way it is. And I was like, "There are going to be too many people, too many people way better than I am, and it's gonna make me cry." I did not go. I made a new veggie hot pot soup instead! And enjoyed it. I am struggling to find what "athleticism" I once had and simply trying to figure out my own health, exercise, and wellness plan that makes me feel good and is challenging, and it's f***ng HARD and frustrating and saddening sometimes. I did do a really SIMPLE Pilates class the night before last with only EIGHT people (you had to pre-reg) and that was perfect because the teacher paid special attention to each of us and praised and supported us a lot. I'm glad you've got all these people around you trying the same things as you, even though it is hard to be part of a group sometimes, it can keep things really real! Good for you for just being honest with yourself and not trying to be someone you are not. There seems to be a lot of pressure and trend for EVERYONE to DO YOGA these days, and it's just NOT FOR EVERYONE. It will be interesting to give it another try with a new perspective. You may just end up rolling around on the floor and doing expressive movements! I've been in a yoga class like that before where the instructor showed moves but you absolutely didn't have to do them, you just did what your body wanted to do! HAVE FUN!
ReplyDeleteAlso - that movie looks pretty cool. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully it makes it to Colorado! Have you found any really good vegan cookbooks or sites for recipes or even just basic staple recipes?