Today was a better day than yesterday! My mood was a bit more up. I felt a little less dizzy and a little less woozy than yesterday. Had my favorite breakfast this morning--Ezekiel Cereal with fruit and almond milk. Also snacked on some soynuts (which are just roasted soy beans) and I really think that was a great snack--filling, toasty, bit salty. Right up my alley.
But let's get to the big deal of the day, shall we?
POINT OF INTEREST: COOKING SOMETHING I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT
So I decided today that I wanted to bake cookies for a date of mine. Because I haven't cooked for a boy in a while, and it's always something that I enjoy and take great pride in showing a new guy. "Look, I can COOK!" It's appealing, a chick who can cook. It is, and forever will be. And Valentine's Day is coming up, and while I have JUST started dating this guy, I wanted to do a LITTLE something for the occasion. So I decided to bake cookies!
Chunky Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies with Fleur de Sel to be exact.
I first baked these at a cookie making party around Christmas. These things are amazing. The cookie is almost like a flaky pastry, nearly like a butter crust, with a crispy exterior. The chocolate I used is terrific, Dagoba 73% percent (vegan!) but very creamy, and not too bitter. The peanuts were just roasted unsalteds. And the butter, 365 unsalted. Egg, free range. Vanilla, real vanilla, spicy and potent and gorgeous.
Now. This cookie is, technically, forbidden. According to my 28 Day Challenge of being a REAL LIFE VEGAN. But the dough itself, like raw, was beautiful. So soft and richly peanutty, like a crazy peanut butter aroma floating up from the bowl. And whilst letting these bad boy cookies cool, I spotted some crumbs around the cooling tray. Little bits I'd normally not think TWICE about eating. Finally, two cookies broke as I took them off the tray, into a few pieces. Not really pretty anymore, not pretty enough for the Valentine's care package for the guy.
So what did I do?
I didn't. Eat. A thing.
!
Not one lick of raw dough, not one crumb, not one broken cookie. Nothing. I packaged up the twelve prettiest for the guy, and put the other twelve on the counter with a note for my roommates: "Enjoy these peanut butter cookies!"
I have NEVER in my life made cookies and not eaten at least one, never NOT licked the spoon, never not scooped up the crumbs into my hand and popped them into my mouth.
But this time, I did. Because they weren't vegan. That was the only reason.
And sometimes just one reason is enough to make a girl think. Even if it's a random thing like this challenge.
Because I realized, the next time I make cookies, even if I'm NOT vegan anymore, or even if the cookies themselves are vegan, I don't have to snack the whole way through. I can wait, until they're cooled, and have one. With a glass of milk. (Dairy or almond, we'll see, ha.) And just enjoy the cookie. And not insist on munching along the baking way. There's no reason for it. It's mindless eating, that's what that is. And this vegan thing has given me the opportunity NOT to be mindless. But rather, MINDFUL. About everything I put into my body. Sure, I'm still not making the best choices all the time. But they've all been VEGAN choices. And just that one constraint is helping me to THINK more about my food. Rather than just FEEL it. And that balance of thinking and feeling my food is what's going to make me a great eater.
A great eater. Ha. I like that.
